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Who's Driving the Bus?

Have you noticed how often our reaction to anxiety drives the bus of our lives? When we perceive a threat - we either: fight, freeze, or flee. As a result much of our lives are spent in conflict - distancing - or paralyzed not knowing what to do.

Chronic anxiety is any sense of threat we have that is perceived, imagined or interpreted. Our anxiety is below the surface and so normally we are unaware of it. Over time we develop a heightened sensitivity to potential threat. We monitor the behavior of others looking for any signs of threat! There is a threat to the loss of self - of who we are – our individuality. There is the threat of being dominated – being taken advantage of – of being hurt, or rejected, or overlooked – not appreciated or not included.

We become more concerned with how other people are behaving toward us than we do with how we are behaving toward them. We question motives – we blame – we criticize. We get consumed with anger and resentment.

We develop typical ways of dealing with our anxiety and we use our preferred methods consistently. As a result, we repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Though we feel “safer” in the short term, long term we develop less than ideal relationships, we lose intimacy, and we lose opportunities for leadership and advancement. Ultimately our patterns of chronic anxiety set our default future. Unless something changes we will end our lives with the same issues that we have now.

My Map Coach can help. The following are a few of the possibilities: